Have you ever had a 'moment' when your life changed forever? I believe you have several of those in life. Of course, a couple of my biggest life changing moments were marrying my darling husband 14 1/2 years ago and then the birth of my son. I was forever changed.
I do believe there are moments that aren't so joyous that change your life forever. These 'moments' make you a different person too. Your forever changed. I had a 'moment' like that alittle over 6 years ago. It was a very low point in life for me, but before that I was the girl who threw Halloween Costume Parties complete with Karoake, New Year's Eve Parties, again complete with Karoake. I hand-made fancy invites and really put my all into making the party a bash to remember. Everyone always seemed to walk (or wobble) away happy and looked forward to the following years bash.
However, after that 'moment' 6 years ago, my zest for all that was nil. I was very sad for a very long time. I shut a lot of people out and a lot of people shut me out because I wasn't the same person. So, I did what most people do, I really tried to concentrate on my work and I became quite successful.
Some people didn't understand why there were no more Halloween parties, no more New Year's parties, but to me none of that seemed important any longer. My life was different and a lot of people didn't understand, nor did I expect them to. I took a blow to the gut and I couldn't bounce back the way everyone thought I should have. Part of the reason was that I NEVER wanted to talk about my feelings, quite honestly it hurt too much and I didn't want people to know how badly my heart was injured, nor did I want to make them sad. This went on for a long time, I became very good at crying alone in the bathroom or in the closet.
In time, I learned to grieve for my loss, learned to be gentle to my feelings, forgiving to my anger and learned to listen to my heart all over again. However, I was changed by that single 'moment' in time. I was no longer the person I was before, I grew up in a new area of my life. Changed forever.
Once again, we are going through a 'moment' in our lives as a family and its had many down points. I am learning to re-adjust my thinking and outlook on the future. We are changed. Not all is glum, during this lousy time I have also learned to be thankful for a lot of things, my families health, the roof over our heads, food on our table,support of our parents and support of one another. My beautiful son has taught me a lot of the biggest lessons. He shows me each day that all the money in the world can't bring you as much joy as, a 'family hug', a 'knock-out' kiss, reading a book together and giggling until we run out of breath.
My point to all this is, you will have several moments in life, some will last longer than others, but they do change you. Through these journeys you will have some people that will stay with you, some people that will leave you, some people that will understand and accept your change, some people that will never understand you after, some people that you will push away, some people you pull closer. Whatever it is, know that change is ok. We are allowed to change, even as adults and not everyone has to understand or accept. You will know who counts when these moments happen and who never really mattered.
No comments:
Post a Comment